Let’s talk about the strength in your vulnerability.
“You’re shedding crocodile tears!”
Did anyone ever say this to you and how did you feel?
Well . . . it made me feel weak and ashamed for expressing my emotions. In fact, it usually would hurt more than the reason I was crying in the first place.
Now I believe it’s one of the reasons I toughened up to mask my emotions. It didn’t even matter if they were positive feelings or happy emotions, because I would still hide them, for fear that others would take advantage of me or ridicule me.
I’m not sure where I learned this from, but I used to think that expressing vulnerability was a sign of weakness.
I remember one time in boarding school, I had fallen terribly ill and I couldn’t do much by myself, so I had to rely on my friends for almost everything.
I felt so weak that I started to cry.
Later, when I was fully recovered, a friend told me that it was the moment I started crying that she understood how ill I was because she had always seen me as a “strong person” . . . lol!
You see, my “hard geh hard geh” was that bad, in fact, I wore it like a badge.
It wasn’t until I became more intentional about my personal growth that I started to see things differently. As I became more self-aware, I gradually understood that feelings and emotions are natural human experiences.
I started to see vulnerability as how we express our shared humanity rather than something to be ashamed of.
No man is an island and every one of us humans is wired to live in a mutually dependent manner. This is why we desire social connections.
Do you know that vulnerability in relationships contributes to healthy and meaningful connections?
Yes, it does.
Contrary to the popular misguided belief that “vulnerability is a sign of weakness”, vulnerability is a strength.
“It is the skill of being aware and acknowledging your emotional state rather than deflecting, avoiding, or denying your feelings.” says, Dr. Shelley Sommerfeldt, a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and founder of the Loving Roots Project.
Vulnerability improves our self-awareness and allows us to process and express our emotions and thoughts in an open and honest manner. You can listen to or read more about how to improve your self-awareness.
It is true that vulnerability is an emotional openness that exposes us to the risk of pain, hurt, and rejection.
Nonetheless, it is how we genuinely connect with others and express our most authentic selves.
While we love to protect ourselves and our loved ones by not sharing our pain with them, being vulnerable engenders trust in our relationships. It improves our mental and physical health.
It is okay to express how you truly feel and share what you really think with those who have earned the right to know.
You are free to acknowledge your pain and process it with those who genuinely care about you.
Don’t allow people’s response to your humanity to shape you into someone who is afraid and ashamed to be themselves.
Don’t live your life without experiencing how it feels to genuinely care for others, and be cared for.
I understand that it takes courage to trust, still, the good outweighs the bad. Because even if we get burnt, we pick ourselves back up with lessons that make us wiser and better humans.
It took a while, but I eventually saw the light, and I thought to share it with you.
I hope you find this helpful.
You are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments, I’ll love to read from you.